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Issue #12

The Dick Van Dyke Show comic book went out on a high note with one of its best stories.  "The Ideal Man" was the title of the tale and it was also, in the story, the name of a new game show being produced by Mel Cooley for Alan Brady's company.  Based on the then-popular fad of computer dating, the show involves having a single woman ask questions of three men that will help a computer select one of them as her "ideal man."  The selected couple is then sent out on a dream date (covered by TV cameras) to get acquainted in the hope that romance will blossom.  In the story, Rob, Sally and Buddy are all working on this show while Alan is on vacation.  In fact, they all fill out questionnaires during practice sessions.

Buddy is depressed that his matches him with his wife, Pickles.  ("If this computer's so smart, how come it made the same mistake I did?")  Sally is depressed that the computer matches her with no one, not even Herman Glimshire.  And Rob is so confident that he's already found his perfect match that he discards his results without even looking at them.

Laura arrives just before the live broadcast of the first episode.  Suddenly, the boy friend of the female contestant shows up and drags her off, refusing to allow her on the show.  With no contestant and only moments before the live broadcast, Mel forces Laura to fill the position, pretending she's an unmarried lady.  She goes on, plays the game and the computer matches her with a guy named Curt who couldn't be less like Rob.  Since the "date" is supposed to be videotaped and aired on next week's show, she's forced to go along with that, as well.  But Mel tells Rob (who is understandably unhappy about all this) that it's okay.  They're sending Mel's mother, Old Lady Cooley, along as a chaperone so nothing can happen.

The date is the following night.  Before it, Rob and Laura begin arguing.  Rob cannot shake the notion that the computer is right; that he has none of the qualities Laura really admires in a man.  She tells him over and over that the computer doesn't know what it's talking about and that the only thing that matters is that she knows she loves him.  Rob in not convinced.  He has visions of Laura and Curt hitting it off and her demanding a divorce.  Determined to prevent that, Rob goes to Old Lady Cooley and tells her the date has been called off so she doesn't have to stick around.  Then he disguises himself as an old lady and tags along on the date as chaperone to ruin things.  At first, Laura doesn't recognize Rob as he keeps getting between her and Curt and generally ruining things.  Finally, when Curt looks to be putting his arm around her, the chaperone "accidentally" spills a pitcher of ice water on him.

All of this is being covered by cameras and transmitted back to the studios where Mel, Sally and Buddy are watching.  When Curt's away drying off his pants, Laura unmasks Rob and is furious at him for not trusting her.  Watching this all, Mel is upset ("We can't air this") but Sally and Buddy are more concerned that the Petrie marriage is on the rocks.  They rush down to the trash can where Rob threw away his computer results, fish it out and hurry to the scene of the date to show it to Rob and Laura.

By now, the televised portion of the date is over and Curt is escorting Laura to her car.  Suddenly, police officers surround them.  It turns out Curt is wanted for bank robbery in another state.  He was recognized from the TV show and now the cops are closing in.  To Laura's horror, he pulls out a gun, forces her into her car and he drives off with her as hostage.  Rob hears about this, jumps into his car and gives chase.  The police lose them but Rob is hot on the trail.  He follows them to an old, abandoned house where Curt shoves Laura inside to make a stand.  Rob has no way of phoning the police from here and he doesn't want to drive off and leave Laura inside with the guy so he gets an idea.  He puts the old lady disguise back on and rings the doorbell.  Curt answers and is startled to see the chaperone there, scolding him for running off without her.  He's not only amazed, he's caught off-guard when Rob stomps on his foot, causing him to drop the gun.  Rob grabs it and takes command, rescuing Laura only seconds before the police arrive.

Laura smothers Rob with kisses and tells him that even if he never rescued her from a dangerous bank robber, he'd still be her "Ideal Man."  Buddy and Sally arrive, running up with the computer printout that proves to Rob that he and Laura are perfectly matched.  But Rob says, "Don't bother...I already know it."

There are two interesting postscripts to this issue.  One is that in December of 1965, ABC debuted The Dating Game, a new daytime series in which a single "bachelorette" had her pick of three men for a dream date.  It was probably a coincidence but it should be noted that this issue of the comic book was on sale about the time producer Chuck Barris was trying to sell The Dating Game.

The second postscript I found in the library when I worked for Western Publishing in 1972.  As is not uncommon in the comic book business, the cover was sent to press well in advance of the rest of the issue.  In fact, Walter Zwart designed the cover and shipped it to the engravers the day before he departed for his infamous Los Angeles trip.  He was fired upon his return and never again set foot in the Western offices.  A few weeks later however, the staff there received samples of the printed covers for #12 which had not yet been bound onto the issues.  By now, they'd thought they were beyond being surprised by any of Zwart's antics but when they saw the cover, they were genuinely shocked and immediately ordered all 350,000 printed copies of it destroyed.  In Zwart's files, they found the "correct" version of the cover and it was rushed to press.  This is the version, seen above, which appeared on the final issue of the comic book.

However, that day in the Western Publishing library up on Hollywood Boulevard, I came across a pile of cover proofs stored on a shelf under some bound volumes of Scamp.  Down near the bottom of the stack, I found one wrinkled copy of the cover as originally designed by Walter Zwart, and I've scanned and posted it at left.  At the time, I inquired of the Western Publishing staff members I knew and was told that no copies of this cover were ever bound onto actual issues but Elliott Zwart tells me that about the time his father passed away, a relative of theirs purchased a copy with this cover at a small supermarket in Lansing, Michigan.  I cannot verify this nor can I confirm rumors of yet a third version of the cover which features Laura Petrie with Edward G. Robinson.