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February 7, 2002 · 11:00 PM PST · link

STEVEN WEBER — best known for his role on Wings — is the new Leo Bloom in the Broadway company of The Producers.  Again, we have no comment other than that the folks running the show haven't made any serious missteps yet, so it's unlikely this is the first.  What I find more interesting to discuss is to what extent, if any, the success of this show connects with, or perhaps will be perpetuated by the headlines over, first dot-coms turning out to be ponzi schemes and now companies the size and seeming stability of Enron.

Over on his site, my pal Jay Zilber quotes our discussion here of the new Bialystock and then writes...

A snarky aside: I'm just waiting for it to dawn on Maureen Dowd that there's grist for a whole 750-word column to be had, by drawing comparisons between The Producers and the Enron saga. "Do you realize," the Leo Bloom character would say in an unguarded moment of creative accounting theorizing, "that under the right conditions, you could make more money bankrupting a company than if you produced something of value!" (Or is that just so obvious that even Ms. Dowd can resist the temptation?)

I actually mentioned something like this a year or three ago in one of the many columns I haven't posted here.  I suggested that if Mel Brooks were to update his classic film — not that this would have been a good idea — it would be about Bialystock and Bloom selling shares in www.springtime4hitler.com.  (Don't bother try to go to that URL, by the way.  The name's registered but it doesn't connect to anything.)

It applies to Enron, too.  One thing that this mess is bringing to light is the extent to which some companies seem to exist only to make short-term zillions for their top executives and no one else.  The comic book, animation and even live-action entertainment industries have all suffered to some extent the last few years from situations where the highest-ranking officers have taken home huge checks.  The salaries and bonuses were tolerated because of apparent success...and by the time some or all of that success was found to be illusory, the officers had cashed in their stock options and fled.  Not that long ago, the current boss of an animation studio admitted to me that he wasn't interested in the long-range health of his company.  He has no plans to stick around.  He just wants to make a huge splash this year, get what he can get...and then get out.  If the company crumbles in a couple of years, it won't matter to him.  He'll be gone.

The machinations of Bialystock and Bloom in The Producers only differ slightly from that strategy.  Instead of not caring if there is failure, they actively covet it.  Other than that, the modus operandi is the same: The guys who set up the pyramid flee to Rio with the bucks while the investors get bupkis.  For the animation business, this is especially deadly since the making of cartoons (features, especially) requires long-term investment.

Therein lies a maddening conflict.  Animation is traditionally one of the safest of all show business investments.  In the age of home video and cable, a cartoon has to be pretty lousy (or its marketers, uncommonly inept) not to turn a profit.  But it isn't a quick profit.  Tomorrow, if you and I came up with something that was certain to be the next Lion King, a lot of studios wouldn't touch it.  Making it would take a huge output of current cash and even if that money would be recouped twenty times over, it would take 3-4 years.  At some studios, the person with the power to greenlight doesn't figure on being there in 3 years.  He just wants the books to look good for the next few quarters so he can justify, at least for a while, that platinum-lined contract with a golden parachute attached.

The tale of Enron is nothing new.  We've seen it for years in the entertainment industry, especially in content-themed dot-coms.  What's new is that someone is finally noticing that when these companies crash and burn, they take peoples' lives with them.  Somehow, this time, I don't think the investors will be as forgiving as the Little Old Ladies who got screwed two ways by Max Bialystock.

CONGRATS to my longtime friend Paul Levitz, who has just been promoted to both President and Publisher of DC Comics (For details, click here).  I forget which one he was before but he's both now.  I have a tendency to claim that most senior execs of publishing firms are weasely, lying incompetents.  This is because most are.  Paul is that rare exception.  In fact — keying off the above remarks — one of the reasons there's still a DC Comics is because of some smart moves that Paul made ten or more years ago.

February 6, 2002 · 2:30 AM PST · link

ALL RIGHT!  We get to combine almost all of this website's areas of interest in this one: In the last two years, the slot machine industry has introduced more new slots than in the twenty years preceding, most of them themed to TV shows or other known properties.  So we now have slots based on game shows (Wheel of Fortune, To Tell the Truth, Press Your Luck, etc.) and old sitcoms (The Munsters, I Dream of Jeannie, others) and even comic books and strips.  You won't find all of these in Las Vegas.  A Nevada gaming regulation prohibits gambling equipment from utilizing characters or images that are known to appeal to children.  Just how they decide this is beyond me.  They're allowing the Betty Boop and Blondie slot machines but not the Popeye ones...though they are or will be plentiful in casinos outside the state.  In the meantime, would you like to see a preview of the animation on the Popeye machine?  I thought you would.  For a peek at what you'll see on the one-armed bandit devoted to the one-eyed sailor, click here.  That link will take you to the site of the game's manufacturer where you can select a little video to watch on your screen.  And if you snoop around over there, you'll also find demos for some of their other machines.  It's a much cheaper way to see what they can do than playing them.

February 5, 2002 · 11:30 PM PST · link

OKAY, SO British actor Henry Goodman will be taking over for Nathan Lane in The Producers, opposite a Leo Bloom to be named later.  The AP news story says this will be Goodman's Broadway debut but, in fact, he was there in the play Art a few years ago.  Having never seen Mr. Goodman in anything, I have no idea how he'll be except, of course, you have to figure the producers of The Producers looked long and hard, and had their pick of darn near everyone.  In the meantime, gossip columnist Liz Smith says that Jason Alexander and Martin Short are pretty much a lock for the West Coast production, whenever that occurs, though she presently seems to be the only one who thinks so.  It sounds so obvious that I'm a bit skeptical...

JUST POSTED a column that's also in the current Comics Buyer's Guide.  It's my coverage of the unveiling of Alex Ross's poster for this year's Academy Awards.  Click right about here to read it.

February 5, 2002 · 2:30 PM PST · link

CLICK HERE TO ENLARGE THIS PIC

EVERY SO OFTEN, we come across photos that we think need to be shared.  Here we have one of the few pics I've ever seen of the Hurwitz boys — Jerry, Samuel and Maurice, better known as Curly, Shemp and Moe...members of the Three Stooges, but not all at the same time.  (To see a larger version of the picture, click above where it says.)  At no point was the Stooges' act actually comprised of the three brothers.  Shemp appeared in various permutations of the team when they were in vaudeville, providing comic relief to the terminally unfunny Ted Healy, who fronted the act.  Then Shemp left to go it alone and Jerry/Curly took his place.

Eventually, sans Healy, The Three Stooges (Curly and Moe, plus Larry Fine) began making shorts for Columbia.  Then Curly suffered a stroke and had to give up performing.

Many years ago, an actress named Carlotta Monti (now best recalled as the mistress of W.C. Fields) told me that Shemp had returned to the act largely under duress.  She said — and this differs slightly from the way the tale is usually told — that when Curly took ill, Moe initially did all he could to keep it secret, lest it mean unemployment for the act.  Eventually though, he had to tell the Columbia Studios biggies that Curly would not be reporting for their next picture, at which point the arguments began.

According to Ms. Monti, who was apparently a close friend of Shemp's, Moe initially wanted to change the act to The Two Stooges but Columbia would have none of that.  "Theaters will want to pay two-thirds as much for the films," they joked, though their main concern was that Moe and Larry couldn't carry a film.  The studio wanted to hire a rotund comic — someone built somewhat like Curly — so that the change would be less blatant and so that old stock footage of Curly (or his stuntman) could be reused.  Already, to save money, a lot of the Stooges films were recycling earlier scenes.

At this, Moe balked.  He didn't want a stranger in "his" act.  Moreover, Ms. Monti claimed, they were then trying to keep Jerry's spirits up by telling him that if and when he got better, he could return to work.  Moe suggested that they have Shemp fill in and then, when Curly was ready, it would be easier to have a brother step aside than to dump a non-kin Stooge.  "Everyone knew Jerry would never work again," Ms. Monti told me.  "But deep down, Moe didn't want to believe it."

Shemp was already making a name for himself as a solo comic and, when Moe nominated his sibling, the boys at Columbia grudgingly said they'd accept him...though they did have the concern that Shemp wasn't as physical as Curly and also that he looked too much like Moe.  At this point, Moe and other members of the Howard (formerly Hurwitz) family confronted Shemp, who wasn't wild about giving up his solo career, mainly in features, to sign on with an act that did low-budget shorts.  But he was told that "for the good of the family," he had to, and so he did.  Curly never did get better enough to reclaim his old position, but he did do one cameo in a short called Hold That Lion.  (The footage was reused six years later in Booty and the Beast, released after Curly's death.)

A few years later, Shemp died but they didn't immediately replace him.  In a somewhat ghoulish procedure, the Stooges actually made four shorts by having Moe and Larry appear in new scenes — some with Shemp's stand-in, Joe Palma, who kept his back to the camera — and integrating them with old footage.  Finally, Joe Besser was hired as the third Stooge and he finished out the team's time at Columbia.  Joe De Rita eventually replaced Besser.

That's the tale of the Hurwitz Brothers.  I'm Mark Evanier with your Hollywood Minute.

ANYONE GET the feeling that the current behind-the-scenes scrambling among the Enron biggies is all about determining who's going to be the scapegoat?  I mean, they can't all have been "out of the loop," right?  That excuse only works if someone falls (or is shoved) onto his sword.  In the meantime, the excuse of, "Enron never received any special treatment from the government" seems to not be playing in Peoria.  Lists keep popping up of favors and helpful legislation.  Here's one from Common Cause that's already two weeks out of date.

February 5, 2002 · 1:30 AM PST · link

MY PAL Russell Myers has been drawing Broom-Hilda for close to 32 years with no end in sight.  He just signed another ten year contract and, even if he quit tomorrow, he's always about a year ahead on the thing.  One day, about a decade ago, we were talking on the phone and he said, "I've gotta go.  I have a deadline crisis."  And for him, it was a crisis: He'd been ill or playing hooky or something and, somehow, a chunk of his lead had evaporated and he was only (gasp!) ten months ahead.  There are syndicated artists who go their entire careers without ever getting as much as a month ahead...and here's Myers fretting because he doesn't have his usual year-long stockpile.

Anyway, I've always enjoyed the adventures of the short little witch lady and often make a point of checking out her exploits...which you can do at the syndicate's website.  You can also read a nice on-line chat/interview with her maker by clicking on this link.  Do one or the other.

SOME YEARS AGO, some friends of mine and I did a loosely-tallied poll among professionals in the comedy biz to ask the musical question, Who Are The Top Ten Stand-Up Comedians?  We actually came up with a pretty fair consensus of ten men who have more or less set the standard for the craft.  I've just posted a little feature that lists them and tells you a bit about each of the ten and you can read it by clicking right here.

February 4, 2002 · 11:30 AM PST · link

WOKE UP THIS MORNING to fifteen (count 'em — 15) e-mails from folks who noted I'd written the following in the previous news item...

But what he lacked in talent, Burton more than made up for via sheer talent and ingenuity.

I've corrected the line.  Thanks to the lot of you and I wish I could blame it all on some HTML coding error or something.  If you spot an error, don't hesitate to let me know.

February 3, 2002 · 2:00 PM PST · link

EARLY IN THE nineties, there was a period wherein I found myself routinely commuting to Las Vegas for odd combinations of biz and pleasure.  During this time, I paid no less than a half-dozen visits to the Hacienda to see Lance Burton in a show that was short on price tag (approx. $20) and budget (not many sets, some of them leftover from a shopworn Minsky's Burlesque revue that had preceded him at the shopworn — now extinct — casino).  But what he lacked in funds, Burton more than made up for via sheer talent and ingenuity.  I've seen enough magicians to know when I'm watching the very best...and Lance Burton was and is the very best.  His little show was so good that no one was surprised when he signed a multi-million buck, 10-year deal with a new hotel that was then under construction.  In fact, the showroom at the Monte Carlo was named for him and designed to his specifications and now he performs there.

A great show it is...a bit less charming than the one at the Hacienda because, among other differences, it lacks intimacy and underdog status.  But magic doesn't get much better than what Mr. Burton offers on that stage.

All of this is a roundabout way of leading up to a recommendation.  I just got a copy of Lance Burton: Secrets of Magic, a low-priced (under 12 bucks) DVD that you can purchase from Amazon-dot-com by clicking on the picture above.  It's really a bargain for magic fans, as it contains two of those fine NBC specials that Lance did a few years back, plus another magic special that he's in but does not headline, as well as a few extras.  The magic is terrific and it's photographed with great integrity, meaning that the director didn't "help" the magician by doing little time compressions or cutaways to omit what you might have caught, had you been there live.  I believe this DVD is on closeout, having been discontinued, so if you want one, buy now.

WE CONTINUE to refute the rumor that will not die.  The latest issue of the otherwise excellent Alter Ego reports that, according to Al Feldstein at a recent San Diego convention, the actor Martin Landau assisted Wally Wood on some of his comic book work for EC.  This is not true.  I have it from Martin Landau's own, Oscar-winning lips that he never worked in comic books.  This is presumably another confusion with a comic book artist named Ken Landau who is no relation and certainly not the same person.

For more on this oft-screwed-up situation, see this Incessantly Asked Question, right on this here website.

HERE'S AN EXCERPT from an e-mail that asks a question I've been getting often, as of late with regard to the movie, It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World...

I wondered if you could help me with a bit of info.  Is Santa Rosita a real place?  Does the Big "W" exist?  If I ever got to visit California is there any advice you could give me as to visiting any of the film locations?

Santa Rosita, home of Captain Culpepper, is not a real city.  Most of those scenes were filmed in and around Long Beach, California.  The park containing the Big "W" was constructed for the film on a piece of private real estate on a cliff in Palos Verdes, and the fabled four palm trees were transplanted there.  Today, at least two of them have fallen.  The "park" is part of a private arboretum which is not generally open to the public.  (A few fans have asked politely and gained access, but I'm told the owners of the property prefer not to have its landmark status publicized.)

I've heard from quite a few Mad World fans who have tracked down various shooting locations.  Some of those places are in the middle of nowhere; others have changed so much that nothing recognizable remains.  The most accessible unchanged location is probably the spot on Pacific Coast Highway, not far from Santa Monica Pier, where something called the California Incline leads down from Ocean Avenue.  This is where the scenes were filmed of all the stars getting out of and then rushing back into the taxis to pursue Spencer Tracy.  Also, several earlier scenes were filmed there, such as the one where the police escort cars leave Tracy alone.  If you go to Mapquest and do a search for "California Incline" in Santa Monica, CA, you'll see its whereabouts.

JACKIE MASON was (past-tense) one of the greatest stand-up comedians but he has long since turned into someone doing a sad, unfunny impression of Jackie Mason.  In an attempt to hasten his descent into embarrassment, he co-authors occasional political columns with a lawyer named Raoul Felder.  They're not particularly clever and rarely in sync with reality, and I have to remind myself that, just because I once liked Mason, I don't have to read them.

The Washington Times — which is nearly incapable of criticizing a Republican or praising a Democrat — sometimes runs them.  They ran one the other day which included this line which I find incredible, even for a rabidly right-wing newspaper...

Remember the Paula Jones case? That was when Mr. Clinton, the president, supposedly the representative of the highest American values, was fined $1 million when he was convicted of sexual harassment.

Did I miss something?  I don't recall Bill Clinton being convicted of anything in that matter.  I recall the judge tossing Jones's case out of court as without merit.  Then, when it looked like it might get reinstated, Clinton settled out of court for $850,000.  No conviction, no fine, no admission.  Mason and Felder even got the amount of money wrong.

I'm kinda dismayed to see this in a real newspaper.  Did the editor not read it?  That would be gross incompetence.  Did he read it and think it was true?  Also, gross incompetence.  Did he read it, know it was untrue and print it anyway?  That would be pretty irresponsible.  An editorial page can present a wide range of opinions but those opinions are supposed to be based on some genuine facts.

It's also dismaying to see this coming from Jackie Mason, a man who has spent his career claiming — with some merit — that he'd been unjustly lied about.  He was effectively blacklisted when Ed Sullivan claimed Mason had made an "obscene gesture" on a broadcast.  He had bullets fired at him when it was erroneously reported he'd ridiculed Frank Sinatra in his act.  I seem to recall several other such incidents, including a paternity suit from a stripper.  (Mason claimed it was bogus.  Wonder if he settled out of court...)  Of all people, you'd think Jackie Mason would be certain that when you convict someone of wrongdoing, you have your facts right.

I doubt there will be a retraction or correction.  The Washington Times doesn't like to do that, and the column will not attract much attention, anyway.  I just felt I oughta remark that my low opinion of a once-admired comedian has hit rock-bottom.  (Here's a link to the entire column if you want to read it, God knows why.)

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